Blindsided

I couldn't remember where it started or what is the cause of my hurting heart. It may have been an onslaught of a life drama or a sliver of dim disappointment, a bout of unmet expectations, or a barrage of unkind words. It may have been unchecked pride or raging hormones. But whatever it was, by the time I enclosed myself in the four walls of my room, I was a hot swirl of aches and tears.

These are moments when I don't understand myself anymore. Times when you were just caught on the verge of unexplainable sadness and pain. Those instances that you just want to drown yourself in tears. Not even a beautiful word or praise can appease you. The only thing you know is that everything will be fine if you cry.

In times like this, I just let myself tear up for a while. Right after that I would talk to God, open the Bible and pray for new joy. His comforting words have never failed to give me peace of mind and incomparable joy. Yes, sometimes we are meant to be broken for us to know brokenness and the sweetness of being made whole again. We just have to feel sadness for us to know it exists and that happiness is empowering. The last thought, we just have to go through these for us to see God from the blindside.